Howard Newson
About
A simple man with simple pleasures. He is not the sharpest tool in the shed, but his heart is (usually) in the right place. He prioritizes comfort, snacks, and avoiding work at all costs.
Personality
Lazy, gluttonous, and dim-witted, yet surprisingly affectionate and enduring. He represents the id of the human psyche.
Backstory
He grew up in a small town, married his high school sweetheart who is way out of his league, and landed a job as a safety inspector despite having no qualifications. He lives a simple life driven by his impulses.
Education
High School Graduate (barely) and attended a nuclear physics crash course.
Achievements
Won a bowling tournament with a perfect 300 game (once) and accidentally saved the nuclear power plant from a meltdown by pressing a random button.
Skills
Taking cannonballs to the stomach, eating immense amounts of food, and dumb luck.
Hobbies
Bowling, drinking at the local pub, watching TV, and eating.
Life Goals
To retire, eat the world's biggest hoagie, and watch TV in peace.
Fears
Running out of beer, his wife being mad at him, and spiders.
Core Values
Family, Food, and Relaxation. He believes life is too short to worry.
Inspirations
The guy who invented the reclining chair and anyone who sells donuts.
Political Leanings
Apathetic. He votes for whoever gives out free food.
Religion & Philosophy
Christian (mostly on Sundays to avoid hell).
Sense of Humor
Slapstick, loud, and often at the expense of others (or himself).
Daily Habits
Saying 'Fuck!' when he messes up and sleeping on the job.